I try daily to write happy poems
But what flows out of me is a medley
Of midnight thoughts macabre bits and bobs
Black is a shade that is hard to understand
It absorbs all light and gives nothing back in return
It has killed quite a few of my spider ferns
(I am Anne the Fern-killer)
10 haikus waiting for publication since 18 August 2013
Supposedly about happy things happy thoughts happy foods
What do the lovely artistic folks at NaHaiWriMo think?
That we can fart out happy thoughts on demand?
In measured metre and cycle? I tried with every bit of effort
To be all sunshiny cotton candy madness
(FFS it did not work I am Anne the poem-killer)
What pours out of my pen is squid-like india ink thoughts
Velvety chiffony gauze sometimes as purple as midnight
Usually as darkly black as the coffee rounds in my mooka pot
No sunlight pierces through the writing gets bluer than blue
Since you are here to visit again I guess you can deal with it
I swear I did try daily to write happy prose
But what flows out of me is black black black hypnosis
(Well it is awful it is melancholy but at least it is catharsis)
I am glad I started writing again in 2012. Since then I have written 203 poems and 2 short stories. I have posted a number of the drafts here online to share with everyone. Made a promise to myself not to throw anything out yet. Yet.
Wishing everyone who visits my little poetry page a prosperous and happy year ahead. May it be better than all the years past. Bless!
There is a fine thin line between life and death
And this line is filled with music and rhythm
This line this skinny life-line that holds me to this plane
There is syncopation there is harmony there is style
And it keeps me going through the dry hard days
When I wonder if I wandered across the fields correctly
Or if my decisions thus far have been riddled with errors
A hiccuping tempo rubato down to an interrupted cadence
and an odd shuddering rallentendo of the soul
There is a fine thin line between living and existing isn't it?
Alan Watts once said there is no greater duty than to live
And we have no other work really but to be alive
But what does this mean to live to breathe to be alive?
Is it enough to pass the hours day after day in human pursuits?
Making the front-end and the back-end of life trot in unison
Must I also fill my days with happy thoughts and hope?
Should I stand here and shout at the heavens for a sign
Must I knock on doors and plead soulfully to be heard
What is the reason for these challenges that come thick and fast
Am I paying for my mischief is there some family karma in a past life
Where we must pay tribute to the Fates in some cosmic hunger game?
I know not.
What I know is this, and only this, my dear love
There is a fine thin line between happiness and death
I walk it daily and this fine thin line keeps me alive
With song, with dub-steps, 16-beat music and double pentameter
The line glows orange and red and blue and pink
Always fluorescent now, it keeps me whole and alive
As long as the music plays...here I stand as its music chimes
But I know the line can turn wild if I don't respect its power
And so I keep playing the music that keeps it tame
I feel a wind blow down my spine and things go black
This black wind...sometimes it is warm and sometimes cold
I see through a telescoping lens of lines that don't intersect
A carnival mirror of shimmering lines upon lines upon lines
And I realize I am staring down the rest of my life (and yours)
The music plays on and verily, sometimes I run across
Sometimes I walk in abruptly staccato fashion
Sometimes I crawl lumberingly against the black winds
And sometimes I go hand over hand just to be sure of things
At once clown ninja and terminator samurai
Sometimes I am barely hanging on for dear life
And then the music judders and stops, a sudden break
And I know it is now or never...it is up to me.
I have to re-start the music myself. Somehow.
What I know is I must get my eyes back on track
Load and lock on to the horizon ahead tighten the slack
But my soul that resides in my liver questions me
Is there a horizon or anything else left to see?
Is there anything ahead? Another tempo or three?
I stand looking through a telescope of imperfect cadences
And I wonder is this yesterday or am I peering into the future?
Balancing on this thin shining tightrope the music flutters on
Always on call as I wait to be summoned around
Your explainer of things
The interpreter of malapropisms and maladies
The inspector of hopes and heartbeats
I did not ask for this role but it is here
I did not want this role but it is clear
I never expected then that it would be this dear
I am honoured to be here on this tightrope
Standing fast between you and your demons
Pushing oblivion away by the skin of my teeth
Lining up stealthily I await our key to heaven's gate
As we battle nightly between the darkness and the light
There is a fine line between life and death
I do not fear it as long as it has rhythm, it has soul, it pulsates
I dance to its music every day even as it fades
My feet crack and bleed I stumble but I keep dancing
Your smile, your eyebrows, your scintillating commentary, your nose
Your loving heart and unconditional love they keep me going
On a wing and a prayer sent out a hundredfold
A thousand Amens and continuing
I see the brightening sky it reminds me of their fossilized hate
Send it down please when are you gonna tell me again that it is fate
Fate brought us here onto the same fraying lifeline
Love made us cosy up and be blind
You are you, such a die-hard hero
And I am I, such an odd weirdo
Standing between silence and waterfalls
Nine years through the time machine we stare back at each other
Does this mean it was meant to be? Do you like how I look in leather?
Hesitate and all is lost? Or should we peer over the edge to look before we leap?
All the old sayings are a crock. Fair love never meant fair weather
Could we ever live on chocolate, gooseberries and heather?
Standing between the rainbow glow and early morning droplets of water
I see the lightening night it reminds me of our growing hope
Send some magic down if you are gonna tell me again that we can cope
Love brought us onto the same rocky pebbled path
Faith made us cosy up warmly and be of one heart
Do we dare make a go of it or will this raise some (un)divine wrath?
Standing between silence and waterfalls
Waiting for a sign o Lord
Hit the neon already
Your silky arms held me in the dark of night Angel of silence and of myth Has anyone looked upon your mighty face With such longing of heart and desire within How would they know of your secret heroism When all that you normally bring to the fold Is an ending of days and the drying of mists?
Your silky breath warmed me in the cold silent days Willowy lithe creature of heaven, purgatorio, and hell Has anyone ever wished you well through the aeons When such melancholy and hope burn in your eyes For an end to all these meaningless transient struggles Should we sing a round to the merry silvery souls And flip a last macabre hurrah to the gentle night?
Your silky voice soothed me in the deadened afternoons Avatar of my resolve and my fractured drive to fight on Has anyone seen you lose a battle of souls so willingly When your immortal arms begin their mighty thundering Your voice grainy with such prolonged wind and whispering To float a despair that cannot end on its own steam And a forever love that has seen quicksilver lightning?
Your silky faith kept me from going over the edge Apple of my eye and divine bringer of hope Has anyone ever seen you throw a fight to lose it And save a heart-string you could scythe with one fingernail Help me to understand your sharpened resolve What is your interest o celestial ground runner To keep a battered firelight burning in these dying embers?
Your silky love reminded me of why I continue to breathe Champion of my soul and starlit soldier of heaven Has anyone seen your loving lightness of being How you try so hard to hold back the forces within Underneath that midnight cloak you wrap around As you use your scythe that doubles as a fairy wand Gladiator of destiny I await your shiny angel wings at the close
Feel the velvet firmness
O dark, grainy, sensual nib
Thoughts flow out of you
Deeply honeyed ribbons of hope
Pressing spiritually against the page
So smooth yet lovingly lined anticipation
Vellum whispers of desires untold
Softly accepting rivers of offerings
Ah, to be marked by you
o sexy sexy Pencil 8B
Poet United's writing challenge: Verse First ~ Edit to Elevate
Writing about a pencil! This is an old poem that I thought would fit this challenge, so i edited it to elevate the verse to something artistic and desirable. Hope it is not too shabby a piece and that I got it right.
Poet United's writing challenge: Verse First ~ Edit to Elevate
This is a new poem that I tried out specifically for the writing challenge on Poet's United today, i.e. edit to elevate the mundane into something artistic, thus I wrote about my bedroom door. :)
My thoughts glimmer out of my dreams
Almost akin to silver gossamer threads
Connecting me with stories of my past
Shaking me out of my train of refusals
And linking my soul with present desires
My subconscious arises like a shadow
It has its own breath and heart-beat
And a rhythm much like a living beast
Struggling to live in 3D while I exist in 2D
My thoughts where do they go in the dark
When I close my eyes to rest to sleep
My id and my ego have insomnia - they creep
They poke me with memory's small darts
A reminder of the many yesterdays we've been apart
I close my eyes bleary-eyed sink through the tide
And type out my soul hoping for gerberas
Then I despair at the lack of equi-rhyme
How far underwater does poetic licence go?
My thoughts cascade out of my consciousness
Almost like swollen waters overflowing a riverbank
I sleep a non-sleep as my memory and my dreams
Tussle and clash, making me wonder which is real
Which reality is merely a figment of my dreamscapes
I bellow as the thoughts flow_____
Stand back or we shall attack_____
And then I am stopped in my tracks ____
Who is we? Did my other selves show?
My thoughts pool in a dark lake of gravity
I can't see the bottom in my sleep - is this guilt
A column of flashes arise from the black
They seem angelic and mystical - even joyful
Shining glowing with moon-fire magical
As the darkness of the mind-waters coalesce
Bearing down on me I sink bottomlessly
Descending far beneath will there be a lake bed
Or is this it - am I going to fall through the earth?
My thoughts float 6 feet above my head
And all breathing stops it isn't necessary
A blackish greenish glow is this for real
I see huge tree-like forms growing miles beneath
My id and my ego have turned into little mermaids
And my mum dances with webbed cherubim
Surrounded by a choir of angels her dimples glow
She nods at me forgivingly for my decade of rage
I see glowing faces my head spins is heaven up or down?
My thoughts jolt me in the face a shot electric
Almost like an icy reality-slap upside the head
My mother's brown eyes stare into mine
Her dimples glow of love and peace
She retreats into green caves of mystical moon-fires
I look at her helplessly hopeful I can follow
But I start falling upwards through the lake
And wonder if gravity has been reversed
I fall up crash and land with a hard thud
My thoughts trickle out like tiny raindrops
The lake is miles away my mum's face hazy
The night dew has an icy coldness
Reality bites no more inner spaces
If my imagination could set sail
Crossing between a multi-dimensional trail
With my astral selves in control of the veil
We would dance merrily dreamily - live life bold
No conscience burning no guilty heaps of coal
Be careful when you add connections on LinkedIn. As a small business owner I have received a few work files from LinkedIn connections whom I met via LinkedIn. That gave me a false sense of security I guess.
I recently added 2 individuals who seemed to be prospective clients as they sent me in-mail about work first, and then 1 of them sent me a marriage proposal via LinkedIn messaging, and one fine fellow is currently stalking me across social media (Twitter, FB, Gmail, Google Plus) and has added me to some online chat group.
If online search records are to be believed, this individual has his law firm overseas but is in KL (!!) this week on business so he is trying to meet up with me to "talk of work and more importantly other matters that could arise due to mutual interests." Freaky. freaky. freaky.
I want to zap him with a lightning strike or two. Am I overreacting?
(I don't own the copyright for this pic. Check with the creators of Angry Birds.)